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The Grand Plan
你花了无数个小时做学生的专职司机和啦啦队长. 这个家庭已经为发展训练营、私人教练、额外课程和辅导制定了预算. In a few years, it will all pay off in the confident, motivated, professional, and successful adult you raised.
现在没有什么可做的了:只是缩小潜在学校的名单, brainstorm for college essays, and meet the college counselor. Of course, it will undoubtedly help to hire a Revolution Prep tutor 并在运动淡季期间注册纸质ACT或数字SAT. 你的学生可能还需要增加社区服务时间, join a club on campus, and get a private lesson in before tryouts. Oh, 竞选俱乐部的领导职位是件好事, pick an advanced science class for next year, raise their English grade to an A, and start the research on that term paper.
That’s all—it will be simple.
所以,今晚,晚饭后,训练后,放学后(但在睡觉前),你打算讨论 everything.
A Harsh Reality
Perhaps this is your only child, your first child, 或者是你最后一次经历上大学前的计划阶段. 不管是哪种情况,你都应该知道一些最新的统计数据:
- 大约27名学生的告别演说者和致词者,全国有1万所高中可以至少两次填补排名前20的大学的新生.
- 40年前,耶鲁大学的录取率是25%. Today, it is around 4%.
- The number of applications received by colleges has increased by 30% in the last 4 years, from 5,434,484 to 7,057,980.
由于竞争加剧和名额紧缺,大学入学过程变得越来越困难. 孩子们的压力太大了,而且这种压力已经具有传染性. In fact, even mothers of middle school-aged children are affected-报告压力最大,生活满意度最低. 这种普遍存在的压力突出表明,迫切需要研究对我们青年的更深层次影响.
The Toll of Achievement Culture
Unfortunately, 在如此高的压力下,我们的孩子长期身体健康状况不佳的风险更大. 青少年时期应该致力于探索个人身份, 但许多学生的自我意识已经变得依赖于他们的成绩. They equate their self-worth with their grades. 更糟糕的是,他们把爱和接受的感觉与高成就联系在一起. Speaking of which, 高水平学校的学生患临床焦虑症的可能性是常人的2-6倍, depression, 和药物滥用障碍比普通美国青少年更严重; 这些学生现在被认为是“高危”群体. 减轻过度的压力需要集体的努力, calling for parents, educators, 社区团结起来,重新定义成功的衡量标准,营造一个庆祝学习和个人成长而不仅仅是成就的环境. 在那之前,我们可以在家做一些事情:
Cultivating a Supportive Home Atmosphere
We all thrive in a warm and loving environment. 随着孩子在青少年时期的成长,所说和所听之间的差异会被放大. 青少年常常把沮丧和不耐烦误解为批评和拒绝. 通过建立亲密和支持的关系来提升他们的自我价值是至关重要的. 你可以通过对他们感兴趣,对他们说的话感兴趣,在家里培养支持,让他们感到无条件地被重视.
Staying Connected
家庭联系是抵御痛苦的最强保护因素, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts. Here are some things you can do to foster this:
- 为你的孩子创造一个安全的空间来讨论困难的感觉和公开谈论价值观.
- 养成重要的习惯,比如寻求帮助和支持不幸的人.
- 分配适合他们年龄的家务,让他们知道他们是如何为他人做出贡献和增加价值的, 强化他们的责任感和成就感.
Supporting Mental Health and Rest
儿童可能需要你的支持,以强调休息和心理健康保护的重要性:
- Prioritizing Sleep青少年每晚需要8-10个小时的睡眠,但只有不到25%的人达到了最低要求.
- Addressing Mental Health Risks: Insufficient sleep poses significant risks 对青少年的心理健康,潜在地加剧了压力、焦虑和抑郁.
Encouraging a Healthy Mindset
Here at Revolution Prep, we are all about Growth Mindset. That said, 对成长心态采取平衡的方法是避免适得其反的关键:
- Recognizing the Dangers of Misapplied Effort当前位置对成长心态的误解会导致这样一种信念:没有成功仅仅是因为不够努力, which can be harmful.
- Shifting Focus to Intrinsic Values:
- 鼓励关注个人成长和自我完善,而不是奖励和成就等外部认可.
- 强调从经验中学习的重要性,而不仅仅是结果.
- 促进独立于外部认可的自我发现和个人满足感的活动.
实施这些策略可以帮助孩子培养适应力, maintain mental well-being, 培养一种不仅仅与成就或外部认可挂钩的自我价值感.
So, tonight, after dinner, after practice, after school (but before bedtime), ask your child about lunch. Ask your child how they enjoyed their lunch. 你可以把有压力的谈话安排在另一个时间. 了解你的孩子,提醒他们无论如何你都会一如既往地爱他们.
本博客中突出显示的事实和数据来自 《bat365在线平台》 by Jennifer Breheny Wallace. For a detailed exploration of this topic, including extensive data and insights, 这本书是一个关键的资源,检查问题,并提出可行的解决方案.
By Ashley Scorsone
Ashley is a professional tutor at Revolution Prep. She enjoys family beach days and dance fitness when she is not nerding out on neuroscience.